Someone stole my iPhone today. I am angry and the source of my anger is threefold. Onefold because I am angry with myself for being irresponsible (story to follow below). Twofold because I am angry that someone would just take it without seeing who it belonged to first. Threefold because I can’t count and/or wanted to use the word ‘threefold’.
Anywho, what happened was, I’d just gone to see my patient in the medical intensive care unit and he really looked like he was on his last leg. He is in kidney and liver failure, he has a tube down his throat so his airway doesn’t collapse, and really just looks like he is going to die soon. When I go back tomorrow he may not be there. I asked him how he was feeling (which I felt like shit for asking because HELLO, he’s probably going to be dead soon, how do I THINK he feels? Probably pretty shitty) and of course he couldn’t talk so I gave him a pen and paper and he wrote, ‘I appreciate everything you do’. Then, ‘THANKS’. That took like ten minutes for him to write that, and he was shaking (probably from the toxins in his blood because of his shot liver and kidneys), and had to take his arm from under the covers, and anyway, it was all just so depressing and I was very emotional and so I said, ‘Of course, that’s what I’m here for’ and ‘take care’ (which I felt like a douche for saying because take care of what? He’s dying).
So anyway I was totally emo after that so I went to the bathroom to take a dump and think about things and so I hung my coat on the hook and took the iPhone out of the pocket to, strangely enough, post something here, and I took a dump and thought about things and totally left the iPhone in the stall. Then, in the middle of my afternoon meeting, I realized I didn’t have it with me, but I couldn’t leave the meeting.
My only consolation is that I am clinging to the possibility that someone who needs it more than I do found it. Maybe a patient family member or something who’s really worried about how they’re going to pay for their loved one’s hospital visit. But probably not; that particular bathroom was somewhat off the beaten path and it’s unlikely that a non-employee of the hospital would have found it (I mean, I DID seek out this place as a relaxation defecation station.) I can’t stand to think that it was a doctor or a medical student. I know it was probably a girl since I’d gone to the girls’ bathroom (as I often do). But still, it’s weird to see the two extremes of human nature in the span of about twenty minutes, that is, someone who may not live to see tomorrow, who was still telling ME how much he appreciated what I did (which, truthfully, wasn’t much. I just went in to talk with him every day like I’m supposed to), versus someone who stole something shiny they found in the bathroom.
I didn’t really NEED the iPhone. I bought it a couple months ago for Epocrates, the drug reference, so I could look up medications quickly while on my rotations. I used mainly that and the internet and the calendar. It wasn’t even an iPhone; it was an iPod Touch, but they’re basically the same and I’m too lazy to say that extra syllable, and I refuse to say iTouch because every time I do it sounds like I’m talking about masturbating or something. I mean, no one REALLY needs an iPhone, it’s just something to make our lives a little easier. I’ll live without it. I’ll use the Pharmacopoeia handbook like the generations before me, and I’ll have a paper pocket calendar again, and I’ll somehow get over the loss of not being able to browse the internet on a tiny 4-inch screen while sitting on the toilet.
But still, this really fucking sucks.
In the somewhat possible event that the ladyperson who took my iPhone is reading this (possible since the first thing to pop up when she turned it on would have been a half-written entry in Textpattern): Think hard. If you really need this (or the money you can get for it), keep it (or sell it), and use it (or the money you get for it) well. If you don’t, you do still have the chance to correct your mistake and be forgiven: I’m rechecking the lost and found at the security department on the first floor tomorrow, one last time. I’ll never know who you are, except that you are a decent human being who, like other decent human beings, sometimes makes mistakes, but overall tries her best to make the world a better place and not a worse one. If not then I’m giving up, and assuming you really needed it, or that you are still a decent human being who makes mistakes and doesn’t quite know how she can correct them. But, know that if you continue on this path you will one day make a mistake that doesn’t simply inconvenience someone, but genuinely hurts them, and I hope that person is not someone you love because you will never forgive yourself.
Also, if I ever end up giving a patient the wrong drug because I couldn’t look it up in Epocrates and they die because of it I AM TOTALLY BLAMING YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. You better fucking be some single mother on welfare who’s gonna use the money to buy her children food for a year and clothes for this winter and a college education and a pony. Shit.
tamara
That’s too bad. I nearly teared up as you described the patient you were looking after. I remember finding $4 on the ground in a Wal-Mart parking lot one night, and I immediately thought about how that person who lost the money would feel. I stayed around the front of the store to see if someone would come up and ask about the money. When that didn’t happen, I kept the money and later gave it to my mother as a good cause. I know that it’s like comparing apples and oranges compared to your situation, but I do hope you get it back, or it’s put into good use.
C
You’re good peeps Rachel. I mean – in those situations, what can be said that is “right” and “appropriate”? You showed up and asked, and that counts.
I hope your phone turns up :)
Christian
Aw sucks to hear you lost your iTouch.. but somehow you managed to turn your tale into a highly entertaining and up-beat post? How the hell did you do that?
I hope it turns up in the iLost&Found!
maxigumee
Uuuugggh. Getting things stolen is seriously the worst. I’m sorry that happened to you. :(
Becca
that sucks… i hope they read this, and return it. stealing is horrible! unlessss maybe from a big evil corporation, and only if you are stealing office supplies ._. ok a pen.
d
i like how even if they keep it, you’re still willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
but until you mentioned it was an ipod touch, i kept wondering, “why don’t you call it and see what happens?”
:\
Lizsu
Did you check with the phone company yet to cancel your number? B/c your bills may be skyrocketing this very second! D:
Jess
Those moments with your patients are so moving and sad, and it is hard. There’s never a “correct” answer.. only comfort words.
That sucks to lose your iPhone/Touch. Hope some super-dooper luck falls on you, and the person who took it reads this post and it mysteriously appears in lost and found =)
Sarai
What an asshole. I hope it’s back in lost and found tomorrow. If not, you just might find yourself having to choke a bitch.
Melle
That story about the patient made me so sad. I see that all the time when I do my rounds. I know that all you really can do is say comforting things. Even the fact that you are in there and you seem very nice and sweet—that’s already a positive factor in their life. At least at the moment. Keep it up, you seem like you’re doing an excellent job.
But about you iTouch, I hope someone returns it. There really aren’t that many people in the world who would willingly give that back—and that’s what pisses me off sooooooo bad. I could never take something that belonged to someone else because their “mark” would be all over it. I mean, you said you were in the middle of an entry and they should hopefully realize this was someone’s personal property.
Anyway, I know if I had an iTouch, I would use it for the same reasons. In fact…I’m asking for one for my birthday. I could probably get some homework done fast on an iTouch. Especially in the middle of traffic or something sitting on the train. Or can you even use it in places like that?
Ilias
Every single time I’ve almost left my iPhone somewhere, it’s been in a bathroom stall. Put it in your pocket, then wipe. I just need to keep chanting that.
Asia
I haven’t been to your blog in a while, but now I remember why I bookmarked it. You take a fairly common situation like this, one which is usually full of expletives and general negativity, and manage to bring a whole array of emotions into it, like sadness and humor. I love it!
Anyway, I’m sorry your iPod Touch was taken. If you ever get another one, or some hot commodity like it, I recommend you acquire a case that allows you to latch it to your being. Trust me, it works. (Not so much with love interests, unfortunately.)
Richard
Lol. Not at your iTouch being stolen (I like calling it that), but I really enjoyed the story. And it takes a lot of inner peace to be able to refer to someone who stole your iTouch as a decent human being and not a greedy bitch.
Lauren
Hugs iphone tightly!
THAT FREAKING SUCKS! I hope someone returns it, though that chance seems kind of small right now. You’re a much bigger person than I am, because if it were me, I’d be scanning security cameras and ready to choke a bitch.
Kate
All I have to say is, it sure does suck about the iTouch (mah bodyy) but I think your outlook on everything you’re dealing with is very impressive. Whenever I read something you post, I often take away something new from it, something that I honestly do learn. So keep up the awesome site, the blogs and everything else you do. You seem like an awesome doctor in training and the world needs more people like you girl!
Courtney
I’d be so devastated if I lost my iPod and it’s not even a fancy one with touchy-ness and internet goodness. I feel for you.
That patient of yours is a class act. As are you.
Anna
They stole your iPhone? That is horrible! For all the features the iPhone has, you would think it would incude a tracker! Or, a blow up device you could activate when needed (like, now?) haha. But look at the bright side, it made heck of a great story!
shoug
ah, well i’m so sorry about that,
I mean, I wouldn’t give anyone a reason to steal, even if they have 38402394 kids waiting for food and all that. I hope you get it back, (i really do, man, i feel like mine is a sister or something)
good luckkk! :D
Mihoriel
Wow, it sucks that someone took your iPhone/ iTouch but still I am happy that you were able to turn it into a positive situation. Only so many people can do that and it’s good to know that they still exist. I’m happy I’ve stumbled upon your blog because I think it made my day. However, the first part about the patient was very sad… I hope he was happy here, though.
Rachel
Thanks for the sympathy, homeslices.
So I went back to the lost and found on Friday, and still no one had turned it in. It’s gone. I'm over it. In happier news, my patient was extubated on Thursday (they took the tube out of his airway) and he was talking to me and still in a surprisingly good mood. So I guess that’s the balance of the universe—in this weird, completely illogical way, I’m connecting the iPhone incident and my patient’s health and it’s like, well, if I had to give up the iPhone so the dude could feel better, I’d give up a thousand iPhones.
shoug
^ nice to see someone so caring, rachel. i guess that’s a good point for you, since you’re gonna be a doctor ;)
by the way, are you training during your study or something?
Lucy
This really brings me back to the times I did clinical rotations in high school. At the time, I was trying to please my mother, who wanted me to become some kind of doctor (I ended up majoring in education, my true passion). Anyway, I met some really great people while working there, and was able to witness some really sad events. It’s left me traumatized, though, and I can’t set food into a hospital without freaking out.
I’ve lost several phones in my day, and it pisses me off so much when people keep it. I’ve had instances where people do the honest thing and return it, but those were rare. I’m terrible about forgetting things. I really hope that they have a change of heart and maybe decided to turn it in later on. In case they did decide to keep it and sell it, I hope that they really needed the money for something important.
Although I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the crudeness of how you lost it! For some reason, I find it humorous when people say they’re going to take a dump. Makes me laugh a lot, and believe me when I say that this entry had me in hysterics.
But I’m glad to hear that your patient is doing much better! If I had the chance to lose an iPhone but have a person get better, I’d lose a million just like you said.
Kristina
Wow. I feel that, If I ever lost my ipod touch. (Yeah I wish I had an Iphone..)
Anyways if I lost mine I would’ve been flipping out. ‘cause seriously it’s like 300 flippin’ dollars down the drain! But for you it’s like 500!! I would’ve been peeessed. (pissed)
You handled it so well though. It’s so impressive. =)
mahima
you were on outspoken-kate.com
great site.
love your blog.
:D
Becky (:
You are seriously amazing.
To be truthful i would have been a loser and just cried , but thats me i guess , i am only 13 LOL
I think its awsome you want to be a doctor , i wanted to be one , but i hate blood XD
So now my passion is acting , blood free!! Well..unless i need to play a dead body…which would be awkawrd…...
Keep safe x
Chelsea
I seriously love your blogs. I’ve been telling all my blog loving friends about how awesome this blog is but yeah anyways
I would feel horrible if my iPod Touch got stolen, lmfao that you don’t like the term “iTouch” I don’t like it either, I’m like are you so lazy you can’t say iPod then Touch ?
it’s just like how people are just too lazy to say Chelsea so they go along with saying “hey Chels!” (or Chel or Chellie or C or whatever other retardedly ugly nickname they can come up with)
Aaron
OMG. This blog has left me cracking up… I’m not gonna lie. LOL.”IF I KILL A PATIENT I’M GONNA BLAME IT ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Lmfao. Omg, you don’t know… this is so funny. Haha, but it must SUCK not having anyone to know where your iPhone is at… ah, well, you’ve earned yourself a new commenter if your blogs are good like thisss loll (according to swimchick ;)
Well… hope you find it!! :D
rhea
arg. thieves belong in the ‘please vanish from the earth or incinerate in a kiln’ pile, along with crocs and whoever created that horrible Because I Said So movie. [likely case, that film creator is a croc-wearing kleptomaniac]
anyway, really glad and touched to hear that your patient is doing better. the universe evens itself out eventually.
Gem
Awww, that sucks about the ipod touch. I’d be in a panic-y mess if I lost something like that.
That’s good that the patient was extubated. It is lovely when people come in to see how you’re doing when you’re ill though, it makes people feel like other people care about them. I hope he doesn’t die in pain :(
Paul
I love this so much. I love the fact that you lost your iTouch and you are still thinking about other people that might need it more than you, whereas most people would get really angry with whoever stole it. I think this viewpoint is so amazing and that the world would be a better place if everybody shared it.
And good to hear that your patient is getting better!
Arielle
That is rather sucktastic. But I must admit, this entry had me cracking up.
It’s good to hear your patient is better though.
Daniel Black
In an effort to avoid the redundancy of extended sympathy, let me just ask: How do you like the Epocrates system? I work for an advertising research firm that occasionally reaches out to medical professionals to test client ads, and Epocrates is a provider. Where once their medical database was the entirety of the business, now they actually make more money on the survey research side of things.
Inger
I’m sorry to hear your iPhone was stolen. Why does people do things like that?
Rachel
Daniel Black: Ok, I stopped reading after “advertising research firm” (I’m retarded when it comes to anything business/advertising/marketing related, a.k.a. “grown-up things”), but I can say that I like Epocrates a lot. I only use(d) the free drug reference though. I didn’t even know they did other stuff. I thought they just made that program out of the goodness of their hearts to help fledgling med students impress their attendings.
Just kidding. But yeah, it’s super useful for looking up drugs & dosings & adverse effects and stuff in a flash. And everyone thinks the pill ID feature is badass, but I never actually used it (maybe it’s more useful outpatient, or in ER settings where you reeeeally need to identify an unknown drug).
Also, a lot of the medical reference programs for PDAs aren’t available for the iPhone/iPod Touch, so that was nice of Epocrates.
Daniel Black
Hi there,
I’m certainly not intending to be a shill for ad research. In all honesty, it’s ever-more-quickly sucking away any humanity I might’ve claimed, locking it piecemeal in a vast litany of Excel spreadsheets. I was impressed by the encyclopedia thing Epocrates runs, though; and definitely, iPhone access is wicked.
Er…was wicked, but probably isn’t anymore, so you’re not missing anything with your recent…event. Not anything at all. No reason to be frustrated.