I wrote this in my Moleskine a couple days ago.
I turn 22 on Thursday [i.e., today].
What the fuck?
Didn’t I just turn 21, like, a year ago?
I’m getting older, but I don’t think I’m getting any better [as in ‘a better person,’ I suppose].
Actually, that’s a lie. In some ways, I am getting better, but in other ways, I am much, much worse – or even more disappointingly the same.
I’m so worried about getting to the next place that I can’t enjoy where I am right now. It’s cliché to say that ‘Life is a journey, not a destination,’ but I feel like I’ve been programmed to believe in the destination as the solution to all my problems.
There is no solution to all my problems. Searching for the solution, and looking for the meaning of the problem… these may be the solution themselves.
But it’s way easier to say all this shit about stopping to smell the roses than it is to fucking do it. Because yeah, there’re roses, but just past that, it looks like there’s a pot of gold or something, so you ignore the roses and go for the gold.
Wow, could I have employed any more overused adages in making my point here?
And then I wrote a list of things I had to do that afternoon.
C
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I know this won’t quell your fears but if anyone shouldn’t be worried about being successful it’s you. You (at least seem to me) to be so grounded, brilliant and fun. You’ll be fine :)
Terrence
Happy Birthday!
Juan
I think of life as being circular. There are no destinations, destinations are redirecting pivots.
Do stop and reflect on life. After all, it is your life and if you don’t do it, then how can you know if you are happy, whatever happiness is, and know that you are doing what is the best thing for you?
But whatever you do, I’m sure you can, like everyone else, rationalize it as being the right thing. Cheers.
SAFFE
happy birthday!
Denise
happy birthday!
Sara
Happy birthday!
dv
you’re so old! here’s wishing you a happy double dose of happy double dos’s. lame, i know.
Marz
Happy birthday! =)
Maura
Happy birthday!!!
Leslie
Happy day of birth!!
If only birthdays occurred once every four years, then you’d be 5.5 years old. You wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near open flames and knives, but you wouldn’t have the burdens of adulthood and collegehood either … Sounds like a good deal to me.
(Believe it or not, this is the least stupid thing I’ve said today.)
koala
wow, happy birthday! tomorrows my birthday __
fellow pisces!
Jasmin
Happy birthday, Rachel! :)
Kayleigh
happy birthday! hope your day was INTENSE. HA
rhea
geriatric! naw, i joke. so you’re a piscean rat! no wonder i dig you more than i do other people. cancerians and pisceans are supposed to get along well because they’re both water signs or something like that. yes, astrology interests me and yes, i usually am this gay. happy undeathday!
boy
shoot, a day late.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!!! You rock =)
James
HB. So old!
Amy
happy birthday, rachel! :o)
ari
happy birthday. :D
ivy
i’m really late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope it was a good one.
Samantha
wow, happy late birthday..so awesome because that was my birthday too!! well you’re 2 years older than me, congrats. Living in the moments is so hard to do…but it’s the most important thing if we’re going to enjoy life.
Arif
I turned 23 a few days ago. It was almost depressing.
Happy fucking Birthday! :)